生活上的导师

人的一生中会遇到许多导师。儿时的导师是父母，上学时的导师是教师们而踏入社会遇到的是同事与上司。当中朋友也扮演着导师的角色，伴我们一路同行。

“最初”，还记得吗？你常挂在嘴边的“最初”。每当你提起最初时，它都会在我思绪里打转。但对我这并非是种困扰，相反的它起了很好的提醒作用。最初所设定的目标也许是单纯的,但历经过程后它也许会变得很复杂而陷入迷失状态。假设目标是单纯的快乐，在追求快乐的过程中可曾因诱惑而导致不必要的障碍？历尽风雨后如果迷失了自我那就回到最初吧！回到最初想想当初所作的决定，想想最初的出发点与现在有何差异? 往往最初的决定会因道路的崎岖而迷失了方向盘. 一旦方向偏了, 就算得到了莫些成果也未必是自己最初想要的.

这一路走来你变成了我最好的“导师”，导致我在思想上变成熟许多。我心目中的导师不需具备着崇高的品德和拥有完美的人生观。问世间能有几人是真正的十全十美？又能有几人敢站出来引导如何迈向完美的康庄大道？曾看过一则理论说着：人无需亲生历经惨痛去体会什么是错的，人可以在他人惨痛的经历中学习对错。当你在与我分享着生活中的点点滴滴时，每个细节都会导致我发挥莫大的思考空间而从中领悟到其中的道理及摄取精华。在有些故事中我得到了启发，有些则是包含着反面教材。每个故事都有学习的空间，获益良多。也许是多年的磨练吧，我已经习惯性的去思考与学习你的每一段故事。

你花心吗？

前阵子老公对我说他经过了一项测试得知他的花心程度，听了他的讲解我觉得测试结果还挺准的。所以我也试了一试，以下是我的测试结果：


我周朝的男性朋友们，小心哦！不要对我太好，要不然我会绘错意哦。

Negative thoughts are harmful

I was reading up on depressions and found this particular one that I would like to share. The Cognitive Distortions and Cognitive Therapy :

"In many, many cases depression actually is the result of negative thoughts. When bad things happen, we begin chastising ourselves with such thoughts as: "I'm no good."; "I'm a total failure."; or "Nothing ever goes my way." These thoughts can send us spiraling right down into a deep depression. You see, we are what we think."

"We depressives are masters at taking the good in a situation and turning it to a negative. Part of this comes from a tendency to low self-esteem. We feel like we just don't deserve it. How to turn this around is actually very simple. Next time someone compliments you resist that little voice inside that says you don't deserve it. Just say "thank you" and smile. The more you do this the easier it will become."

"We are victim to our own insecurities. We expect the worst and begin preparing early for the disappointment. By the time we find out that all our fears were unfounded we've worked ourselves into a frenzy and for what? Next time do this: give them the benefit of the doubt. You'll save yourself a lot of unnecessary worry. If your fears have some basis in reality, however, drop that person from your life like a hot potato."

"If we think something often enough, we begin to believe it's true. To conquer depression, we must stop those automatic thoughts and replace them with more positive, truthful ones. By nipping these thoughts in the bud, we can put a halt to depression before it even starts."

More could be found here:

http://depression.about.com/cs/psychotherapy/a/cognitive_2.htm

My Saturday and Sunday

The weekend was busy yet fulfilling. We started Saturday with our monthly gardening at IMH watering and weeding. The weeds seemed to start conquering fast snatching nutrients from plants, we removed quite a lot but didn't manage to finish all. We left shortly after hubby got hit by the flying stone from grass-cutting. As usual, we went to nearby market for lunch and bought some groceries. In the afternoon, we attended a baby full month celebration. We had a hard time searching for the hosts when we arrived their house, it was packed with their friends and relatives. A bit shocked to see so many strangers but it was quite ok after awhile. In the late afternoon, I started preparing dinner while hubby walked our boys. It was the first time I cooked four dishes for a no-occasion day, quite an achievement I would say. We also went to shopping mall to get boy's food and ingredients for durian cake. We ended our Saturday with a local movie "One More Chance".

I woke up quite early on Sunday, 9am! Hehehe... normally I don't wake up till 11-12 noon. We walked our boys to coffee shop for breakfast and when returned I started to bake a durian cake. In total it took me 30 minutes for preparation and an hour to bake. It turned out nicely baked but the durian taste was not strong, I don't like this recipe. Will try others next round. I packed the cake and went to in-law's house. The rest of the siblings were there before us, hubby played Singapore Monopoly for awhile to humor our niece and we had KFC for tea break. It was a treat from brother-in-law's girlfriend celebrating her winning of 4-digits. The highlight of the day was watching "The Maid" inside the bedroom with everyone squeezing onto a bed and every slight noise will trigger scream or laughter. My mother-in-law added a lot of effects to our show, she would pop her head in to check on us every now and then, woo...so scary! When the movie ended, I fried some shrimp eggs and boom boom (bike) our way to nursing home. Grandma enjoyed the eggs and durian we bought for her, she even shared among her friends. We planned nicely to reach home before my favorite 7pm drama and had some noodles after that. At around 10pm, we walked our boys again.

Anti-depression

This topic has been pretty active lately, I saw from the newspapers and heard from radio too. It was mentioned that intake of omega 3 will help in anti-depression. It will make you happier! Omega could be found in deep sea fish oil, flaxseed oil, etc. An article even pointed out that taking sufficent of omega 3 during prenancy will give birth to a smarter baby. Do you believe that? My mom must had taken plentiful of omega 3 when she was having me, see how smart I am now! Hahaha...

Shouldn't it be in the state of mind to control our mood? When has it channelled to the food cause? Anyway its good to give it a try if you are suffering from depression. If the supplement is able to improve the condition, is definately better than taking chemically-processed medicines.

Surprise, surprise and surprise...

It was a stayed-home celebration and hubby had agreed to whip up a candle light dinner after my dance lesson. I knew about the menu as we went marketing together during the weekend, just wondering whether hubby would be able to handle it. I popby Breadtalk to grab a small cake before I went home. The moment I reached home I saw hubby waiting for me in the living room, the steak were not ready yet he told me. The next moment he went into the kitchen and got busy cooking again.

I passed by the dining area and to my surprise there was a stalk of rose in a sleek vase :O I haven't been recieving flowers from hubby for quite sometimes and this really took me by surprise. Besides the rose, hubby also set the table nicely with tealight candles, wine glasses and napkins. Love songs were played and the entire atmosphere was so romantic. I enjoyed the feel for awhile and went into the bedroom for changing. The second surprise came up, more roses were found on the bedside table :O 3 red roses inside a vase tied with golden ribbon standing besides our heart-shaped bears! I quickly ran into the kitchen and announced to hubby that I got 3 more! With an uplifted mood, I went to my bedroom loo and I really couldn't believe what I saw. Roses again!!! 5 roses beautifully arranged and smiling cheerfully at me when I stepped into the loo. Oh I couldn't take it anymore, so much surprises within a day, I was getting spoilt. I dashed into the kitchen to thank hubby for everything and asked him "That were all its going to be, right?! Will I see more roses inside the toilet bowl?" Hahaha...

The dinner was fantastic, with the classic cream of mushroom, striploin steak and grape champage juice. We finished every bits and could hardly moved, caught our favourite Hongkong drama and brought our boys to garden for their regular walk. After some rest, it was time to eat again. Our cake were waiting inside the fridge, we took it together with the new peach fruitty tea that I bought for hubby. Gosh, we lugged our bloated stomach to bed. So full! So unhealthy! But so sweet :)

Thank you hubby, it was a very special Valentine's Day to me!

Happy Valentine's Day

We could never measure our wealth by money but by our friends.
I'm sure our friendship has made me rich!!!

Tiny but wonderful seeds of blessings are sprinkled on earth each day...
and I just caught one that's so nice and true... And it's you!

testing picture

The V. Day

I overheard the radio broadcasting while I was on my bus journey to office this morning. It was about the Valentine's Day celebration and listeners were encouraged to dial sharing their thoughts...

DJ: Good morning! How are you going to celebrate you V.day?

Guy: We don't specially celebrate on V.day. To me everyday can be V.day, why spend on this particular day?

DJ: But do you buy gift for your girlfriend?

Guy: None.

DJ: How about any celebration?

Guy: None too.

DJ: Is your girlfriend happy about that?

Guy: Happy about what?

DJ: Is your girlfriend happy about getting nothing on V.day?

Guy: Nope, she is not happy.

DJ: You see, you see. Then you should do something to make her happy.

Guy giggling away...

The DJ pointed out something which I believe is the root of all cause. "Are you happy?" If both parties are happy with not celebrating V.day then of course it is absolutely fine not to do so. However if one party is expecting something but was not fulfilled then it arises dissapointment. Normally the girls expect the guys to "do something" on these occassions without having to tell them what to do. But guys might interpret it as girls "don't need anything" since they don't even mention...hahaha...

My girlfriend just told me this:

Hubby and I didn't go anywhere for our wedding anniversary because I was kind of tired to go out. But I was expecting the "door bell 2 go ding dong" anytime that day for any flower, gifts delivery etc....

Where are you, JL?

JL, you stood me up. You are the first person who did that to me, how daring!

I queued for a year to date you out, with excitement and present I showed up at our meeting place on time. I waited for more than an hour in Orchard hoping that you will eventually show up but you didn't. I checked on every passerby in hope to spot a familiar face but none fits the bill. I wanted so much to call you but I realized that somehow your contact in my new mobile was lost. What kind of luck was that? I couldn't think of whatelse I could probably do, so I went home.

I emailed you the next day but I receive no reply. Just where on earth are you now, JL?

Teenage hero

Finally... his turn has came, we have been waiting for his good news. It came to me via a short message on my handphone checking my availability. I was so glad, replied "YES" without hesitation although we have lost contact for many years. We used to hang out in a group during teenage days. We have never seen the bride before but I could pictured her as a sweet bride standing besides AFu. Not long after, the invitation card was delivered to my mailbox. All these brought smiles to me, I didn't understand the rational behind but I concluded myself being happy for AFu when he found his happiness. If at this point you thought I had been carrying the torch for AFu, I am not :)

We turned up at his wedding dinner and were received by AFu and his wife immediately. Just as expected, they look so compatible. AFu hadn't changed much, still so friendly and warming. Whenever the his name came upon, an unforgettable incident will surfaced without fail. We always remember AFu for his wittiness, how he responsed and rescued us when we were ambushed by a big group of gangsters. Obviously we were outnumbered but he saved us that night, we couldn't imagine the outcome if not for him. We owed him for that, couldn't thank him enough. Since then, he becomes our hero.

Sincerely, truely wishing him a blissful marriage... our teenage hero - AFu.